I think sticky traps are really special. We should put em up.
— Lily
Quacker.
— Mason
Something else happened that you don’t even know, I was stepping on my own toe and it hurt.
— Lily after I called her out on saying “ow” when the sound of a bump came from an obviously different place
One day you’re going to give me a little extra.
— My favorite street book selling guy on 73rd and Broadway
Hello, truthdeleste
— Email from Tumblr
I didn’t ask you if you know him, I asked you if you read his book.
— Sid imitating his youngest son as a kid
Princeton is discontinuing its sprint football program.
— Princeton University status shared by Matthew Garvey
Alright boys, pack it up.
— Lily pretending to be among the bagpipers
I hired the swimming guy.
— Ken
You braved the rain.
— Guy from Better Being Underground
…into the concrete…
— Andrew Bird saying something stupid
Seaweed salad.
— Waiter accidentally giving us a second kelp salad at Jin Ramen
I’m just a robot, it’s my batteries.
— Lily on one more ice cream bite after watching Ex Machina
Alexa, is there a war?
— Lily
If you’re in a car.
— David Owen, “Where the River Runs Dry,” The New Yorker
You come here unannounced on the day my daughter is to be married?
— Mr. Big, Zootopia
Vanessa’s?
— Spencer
Bread pudding.
We live in a culture that rewards jackhammers.
— Paul quoting Liz Gilbert on Good Morning America
Len met Jan in an elevator at the law firm, where he gallantly assisted her after her keys fell through a crack in the shaft. Jan was drawn to Len’s intellect, his handsome smile and his love of adventure.
— “LEONARD JAMES JOHNSON,” Kansas City Star