Don’t spit it back into the cup.
— Dental technician
O god I’m sorry… Screen’s bright… And the people in my dream don’t know what’s next.
— Lily half-asleep in the middle of the night
Even though I don’t keep in touch with you, I love you all.
— Dillon R, birthday speech
He’s folding your napkin and putting it back on the table for you.
— Lily in a text, keeping me informed while I was in the bathroom at Tavern On The Green
That sounds kinda sad.
— Obama on the idea of reunions with his White House team with t-shirts, “Barack Obama: Eight Years in the White House,” 60 Minutes
I just want to print.
— Paraphrasing woman in Riso class who just wants to print things.
But no biggie.
— Larry, the guy in charge of jurors
This is backpedaling on a scale one would only expect to see if a pack of velociraptors appeared at the finish line of the Tour de France.
— John Hayward, “Dear Mainstream Media: YOU Made DeepStateGate Happen,” Breitbart
That’s my favorite type of flower.
— Lily and my favorite sales person who works at Best Bottles
He hates overhead lighting.
— Holly Glass on Philip Glass, Glass: A Portrait of Philip in Twelve Parts
She’s from Texas.
— George W. Bush on Beyonce, Jimmy Kimmel Live!
The opposite.
— Rachel*
I’m waitin’ on what I'm waitin’ on.
— Man on the street
We’re not going to have a big mosh pit.
— President Trump, “Full Transcript: President Donald Trump’s Exclusive Interview with Breitbart News Network in Oval Office,” Breitbart
Time to get outta Dodge.
— Denise
Mr. Ritholtz says that the outcome of the financial crisis has been “socialism for the wealthy but capitalism for everybody else.”
— Christopher Caldwell, “What Does Steve Bannon Want?,” The New York Times
You Maltese, you go to China.
— Sid doing a comedy routine with Gia
I love how many collars he wears. Interesting look.
— Reince Priebus on Bannon at CPAC
That’s the worst Brusco.
— Real Estate Agent on our landlords.
Frank Gehry No Longer Allowed To Make Sandwiches For Grandkids
— Article title from The Onion